UPDATE 9:55: Barack Obama will take the mic shortly after 10. Right now, the audience is enjoying a fine selection of disco music and dancing lights!
9:57: Here comes Dick Durbin for the introduction. He sounds hoarse. Durbin says Obama is weary of the "politics of deadlock."
9:59: Durbin just touted Obama's values and judgement. Sure, like the brilliant racist and anti-Semitic pastors to whom Barack turns for worship, right Dick?
10:01: A faint "Yes We Can" just broke out. As in...yes we can kill infants that are born as a result of botched abortions!
10:02: Oh, look, there's Barack as a baby! Thank goodness Mommy didn't have an abortion.
10:05: They're playing a puff video on the big screen right now. Barack says he "didn't know a soul" when he first got to Chicago. And then along came Bill Ayres!
10:08: (Crying.)
10:09: Barack: "Americans can do anything when we put our minds to it." Except drill for our own oil and coal, of course.
10:10: Fasten your seatbelts. The savior has surfaced.
10:13: He just said "Thank you" about 28 times.
10:14: Thank you to Hillary, who is an "inspiration to my daughters."
10:18: The "American promise has been threatened." By what, Barack? What exactly threatens the American promise?
10:19: The obligatory Bush bashing. I guess the Democrats have been manacins for the past 8 years. I guess the fact that they control almost every major city in America, 30 of the 50 governorships, the majority of state legislatures, is totally irrelevant.
10:20: "Eight is enough." Now the zombie crowd is chanting it.
10:22: Obama's calling McCain a Bushie again. I guess I just imagined the times McCain told the Bush aministration where they're wrong.
10:23: We ARE a nation of whiners, Barack! And guess who's doing the whining? Your damn party!!
10:24: Class warfare time. Once again Barack has distorted McCain's 5 million remark that any objective person knew was clearly a joke.
10:26: (Sighs.)
10:27: "We Democrats have a very different measure of what constitutes progress in America." Yeah, you're right Barack. Like how many more people you can get dependent on the federal gov't!
10:28: (Slams head on desk.)
10:28: Ohh, Barack's grandfather marched with General Patton. Of course, had Barack been president at the time, Patton wouldn't have been going anywhere.
10:29: What do you know about hard work, Barack? Did handing out leaflets and circulars on the south side of Chicago wear you out?
10:31: I'd like to see the section of the Constitution that outlines the obligations of businesses to the American people.
10:32: You idiot! Do you know why our companies send jobs overseas? Because morons like you continue to raise their taxes higher and higher! When you tax capital, it's going to go elsewhere! That's Economics 101!!!
10:33: Uhh, Barack how are we going to "end our dependence on oil from the Middle East" if we can't drill off our own shores? Where the hell is it going to come from? The sky?
10:34: He'll find ways to "harness nuclear power." Yeah, right. I guess his anti-nuclear resume just happened by accident.
10:35: It is NOT a right to go to college, Barack! I don't want to pay for my neighbor's crack-smoking kid to go to college! Do you?
10:37: Universal health care drives up costs, Barack, not lowers them! Ask the Canadians and the British and the Germans. Facts...they're so inconvenient.
10:38: Equal pay for equal work? What is this, the Seneca Falls Convention?
10:39: The audience is smiling and applauding this lunacy.
10:40: Biden's wife looks bored. Aren't we all.
10:41: Barack is playing the Bin-laden card again. Democrats have done that over the years to try and make themselves look tough. Really, it just makes them look phony. (I guess Bin-laden's infrastructure and network has somehow been totally unharmed the last 7 years.)
10:42: Removing Saddam Hussein didn't make America safer? What brilliance, what intellect, what courage, what wisdom is this man Barack Obama!
10:44: Obama talking favorably about the military is akin to the Bloods talking favorably about the Crips. Barack, you're virulently anti-military and you know it! You want to cut their budget more deeply than Clinton did!
10:45: Barack: "We all put our country first!" Except most of us do not call befriending a man who bombed the Pentagon putting your country first.
10:50: I'm sorry, did Barack just say that someone else lacked a record to run on? That is priceless.
10:51: "The election isn't about me." That's right, Barack. It's about a country that is swamped by a deficit and a debt crisis that can't afford the trillions of dollars in additional spending that you propose!
10:52: Just what change have you seen in Chicago, Barack? Do you see streets free of crime and drugs, civility, black males graduating high school, people working hard and getting off the welfare?
10:53: "Our universities are the envy of the world." No they're not, they're an embarrassment. None of us can even speak Spanish!
10:54: Obama invoking the name of Abe Lincoln is like a bench scrub invoking the name Babe Ruth.
10:56: America cannot turn back? That's exactly what you would have us do, Barack! All of your policies are straight out of the 1960's!
10:57: Mercifully, the end. Let me sum it up: "Vote for me, be miserable."
10:58: Country music? The lyrics say, "Born in America." We don't even know if he was! There's a lawsuit being filed (obamacrimes.com) that asserts Obama is a fraudulent American citizen!
Of course, all Barack has to do to end that nonsense is present a real copy of his birth cirtificate, but he won't do it! If there's nothing to hide, show the American people!
11:01: Obama outlines his plan for Jimmy Carter's 2nd term, and people applaud. I tell you what folks, we are in some deep doo-doo if this man defeats John McCain.
Out of 9 Republican candidates, McCain with me was probably #8 or 9, but he looks like the second coming of George Washington compared to this Bolshevik nominee of the Democrat party.
11:09: That airhead Pelosi just adjourned the damn thing. Not a moment too soon, either.
11:10: Now Springsteen's "Born in the USA" is playing. This cannot be a coincidence, two songs that refer to being born in America. Hilarious.
And what's even more funny, half the damn loons at this convention likely are NOT proud to be born in the USA!
(Great song, though. Springsteen may be a lefty but he can sure write a tune.)
11:14: The place is emptying out. That's a wrap for the Bark.
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